My Side of the Story

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Yesterday, Sabriya's school GCCS had a basketball game against PC Jr High. From the beginning of the game it was obvious that the ref's were not doing what needed to be done, they weren't calling many many things that should have been called and from this you could pretty much tell that something horrid was going to occur. Well, it did in the 3rd quarter...

I can't really remember now which team had possession of the ball, but Sabriya and one of the PC girls both had their hands on the ball - it was a jump ball. Now I will mention here that this same girl had been after Sabriya during this entire game, just in her face, fouling her, throwing elbows. She was just a nasty player the entire time, so much so that our coach had already attempted to get the ref's to pay closer attention to her manner of play but to no avail because the behavior was allowed to continue which brings us back to the point of this entire post.

3rd quarter, both girls have their hands on the ball, whistle blows, jump ball is called but before Sabriya is able to release the ball, the other player flings her to the ground, she goes down hard on her back, her head slams into the floor and then the girl kicks her in the side, the crowd gasps, Sabriya screams in pain... and at this point it seems that everything is frozen in time. I'm waiting for the ref to do something, for someone else to come to her aide but no one moves and I so came off the bench. Shamesha says that she tried to grab me but that I shook her off, I don't remember that, but my thumb hurts pretty bad today and she has a scratch down her forearm. I ran across the court and she's lying there still screaming, very obviously in pain. Somehow Shamara is there beside me and together we help her up and walk her over to the bench. Still no one else has come to her aide. At this point my heart is racing because I don't know where she is hurting - is it her back because of the impact, her head from hitting the floor or her side from the kick she received???

During this the ref who made the call comes over and says to me, "You need to leave the court." I turn to him and replied, "And you need to go do your job and call the technical that should have already been done, while I make sure that my child is okay." Now the AD (I'm assuming that's who it was.) from PC comes over and looks at me and before he can speak I say, "Are you going to get some medical assistance over here?" He then turns and starts calling out for assistance. He then comes down to the floor beside me and says to me that the ref wants me to leave the building and I replied "No problem, I know that I broke the rule by coming to the court and as soon as I know that my child is okay I will grab my things and leave." He acknowledges this with a shake of his head and allows me to continue checking out Sabriya.

When she starts to calm down and can talk and I know she's in pain but will be okay, I cross back across the court, climb up the bleachers to grab my purse with every intention to head straight out the door when FOR NO REASON AT ALL, and totally out of no where the 2nd ref who has been non-exsistent up to this point comes charging across the court screaming at me that I had 10 seconds to get out. Before I could open my mouth to reply Mark came from one direction and Ken from another and meet the ref at mid point and the whole situation escalated from there. In short, Mark and Ken both saw him charging at me and felt that he was a threat to me and now their protective instincts kicked in and lets just say that the ref turned around, grab his jacket and was heading for the door. I grab my things and at this point meet the entire family at the door... I have to insert here that the situation had been handled, so why would this ref who had been silent during the entire process all of a sudden decide to assert his authority... It was like a power play or something, did he think he could intimidate me? Very bad move on his part.

WOW, people want to know if I am embarrased because of what happened. NO! I am highly upset and I feel angry today. Angry because had the ref's been doing their job correctly and calling a tight game the kind of behavior that was going on would not have occured allowing the situation to esculate to the point of a child getting hurt and a mother whose protective instints went into overdrive and felt forced to leave the bleachers to assist her child. Maybe I moved to fast not allowing anyone else time to get to her first. But I swear the seconds were ticking by and it just seemed like everyone was in a frozen state, no one moving to help her.

People say the most dangerous place to stand is between a mother and her child. A mother’s instinct can turn a perfectly sane woman into erratic and hysterical fighters with super hero strength and ability. Mothers are able to do anything in effort to protect or provide for their children often against all odds and all the while maintaining a silent river of feeling that runs smoothly between them and their child.

Perhaps the fact that giving birth to a creature who lives inside our womb for so long enables us to forge a long standing connection to their innate side. Perhaps it is because mothers feel a love so strong for their children that it is able to transcend language and traditional methods of communication. Perhaps it is more a phenomena of shared energy. Perhaps it quite simply the urgent desire to protect and shield that allows a mother to bridge the gap between time and distance and feel the heartbeat of their child. More than likely a mother’s instinct will never be explained! So NO, I AM NOT ASHAMED OR EMBARASSED, NOR DO I REGRET GOING TO MY CHILD WHEN SHE NEEDED ME!

Today, the day after, I am feeling many emotions and it is hard to express it all but to those who call it DRAMA and to others who say HOW EMBARRASING, I say don't judge because you weren't placed in that situation, you  weren't standing in my shoes, it wasn't your child lying there screaming in agony with everyone around you in authority frozen in place.  I am by no way condoning the behavior of parents or family members breaking the rules at any sports activity. But it is hard for me today to think that I did something wrong by doing what comes naturally as a mother. I have often said that when it is my time and God calls me home, that no one will ever be able to say that I wasn't a GOOD MOTHER. I stand proud on that fact and will allow no one to ever take it away from me.  THIS IS MY STORY & I'M STICKING TO IT!


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